August 2009- Mommy and Daddy fell in love!
September 24th- They tell us Maddox just has a small "heart murmur" which is supposedly "fine and normal". Their main concern was his liver, so they scheduled a biopsy and tell us everything is "fine" for right now.
Decemeber 2009- Little Max was conceived
December 30th 2009- Positive pregnancy test
April 3rd, 2010- It's a boy!! SOO happy!!
September 2nd, 2010- bye-bye DUE DATE
September 12th, 2010- Induction date!
September 14th, 2010- Maddox is HERE 7lbs 6oz 21.5 inches long at 2:24pm
September 14th, 2010, around 8pm- Maddox gets transferred to Rockford Memorial Hospital, and we are soooo upset. Momma gets released from the hospital shortly after, to go be with her baby!
September 18th- Mommy's Milk finally comes in FULLY after pumping every 2-3 hours for 20 minutes at a time!!
September 24th- They tell us Maddox just has a small "heart murmur" which is supposedly "fine and normal". Their main concern was his liver, so they scheduled a biopsy and tell us everything is "fine" for right now.
September 30th- Maddox keeps having really bad apnea spells, getting them about every 15 minutes, scaring the crap out of momma!!
October 1st, 2010- Max latches onto mommy's breast for the first time since the day I gave birth to him!! Mommy is SOOOO happy and proud!! It was a lot of work but the little man finally got the hang of it!!!
October 6th, 2010- Maddox's apnea spells seem to disappear!!! A miracle!!!!
October 11th, 2010- Mommy and daddy learned lots and prepared big time, and on this day, our little man finally COMES HOME!!!!!! We are so overwhelmed with happiness!
November 18th, 2010- Maddox gets a little sick and we have an overnight stay at KSB.
November 27th, 2010- Maddox starts to breath heavy and fast, we take him to the ER, not knowing we will never return home with him. They sent us to Rockford Memorial hospital again
December 10th, 2010- We get transferred to Hope Children's Hospital in Oaklawn, Illinois because Maddox keeps retaining fluid in his lungs from his poor heart function.
December 11th, 2010- Maddox goes into cardiac arrest right before my eyes. I scream and cry as they revive my little boy. He survives, but at that moment, I realize he may not make it and it kills me. They continue to talk about surgery and they are scheduling it for the following week.
December 21st, 2010- Brian Urlacher gets to meet our precious baby boy. We then have our big meeting at 11am, and we get the worst news of our life. They told us Maddox has a 30 % chance of making it to 6 years old. We all lost it that day and loved on our precious little boy a little more. We are broken.
December 27th, 2010- They tell us that Maddox is probably to sick for surgery, and will not survive, and that surgery could cause his death earlier than it would if we did not do surgery. They tell us that we might be able to get him stable enough to go home for a few months and have hospice care. Once again, we are devastated and so sick with grief. We didnt think he would pass away in less than three weeks!
January 1st, 2011- Maddox is too sick to come off of the ventilator.
January 2nd, 2011- They tell us Maddox will probably never get off the ventilator and that if we want his death to go smoothly, we should plan a date to extubate him and let him passed away peacefully. We are sick and broken.
January 9th, 2011- Was our scheduled extubation date. All week Maddox was wide awake and playing, we could never extubate our boy while he was doing so good! Extubation date cancelled, our little boy is too strong! We decide if we do extubate at all, it will be January 16th, the following Sunday.
We spent the last week of Maddox's life, loving him, taking a million pictures, everyone visiting him, reading him all of his books, and cherishing our last moments with him.
January 14th, 2011- Maddox's oxygen levels are low all day. He is being bagged in efforts to keep them up. We are told this is a sign he will go soon. We call the photographers, and prepare for him going to pass away on his own. Before I know it, I sit down and am handed my little boy, blue in the face, yet looking so peaceful. He passed away within a few mintues, at 9:50pm, on January 14th, his 4 month birthday.
January 19th, 2011- Maddox's memorial services are held, and we bury him in Babyland.
February 14th, 2011- Momma tries to go back to school, but can not do it. Maddox has been gone for 1 whole month, and the numbness is just starting to wear off.
May, 2011- Mommy gets her GED and starts planning for college. Numbness is still slowing wearing off, and mommy gets depressed and suicidal during this time.
Summer, 2011- Everything hits mommy so hard. Living the months Maddox never got to see. Missing him so badly!!
July, 10th, 2011- Maddox's first cousin on mommy's side is born! Tyler John Hall
August, 2011- Mommy starts school and photography. A whole new busy schedule, keeping her focused and busy. Still missing baby boy like crazy!
September, 14th, 2011- Maddox is 1 year old! Mommy organizes a balloon release and many friends and family gather to Max's resting spot to sing happy birthday to him and send him our love! Mommy is a mess!
Now, we are broken, and still trying to learn how to live with this huge hole in our lives. Where is our baby that our lives revolved around. He is in Heaven, keeping us strong enough to survive here. We love you Max! Please continue to help us through this life! I hate to think of the many years we might have without you! I just miss you so much!!!! Love you sweet, precious boy!!!!
