Sunday, March 6, 2011


So now I really don't know what I want to do!!!

  • I get to see Max, he is always with me physically 
  • I get to take him places 
  • I can talk to him directly sort of
  • I know where he is
  • It will be comforting having him home
  • He will get to be covered in his blankey and comfortable in his crib 
  • I could donate the grave lot to the next family who needs it
  • I could donate his casket to the next family who needs it 
  • I will get to make a necklace of him
  • I might have to face seeing him again
  • I might go crazy
  • I might take him everywhere I go
  • I could get confused with who he really is
  • I might not like the idea of his body burning
  •  He's already buried
  •  I get to decorate the grave
  • I have a place to visit him
  • There is a lot of space to have a picnik by his grave
  • The grave site is by the park and river
  • I don't know if his body is safe (grave robberies and such)
  • I don't like the idea of his body decomposing
  • I don't like that the things I put on his grave could get stolen
  • I want the things that are in his casket back
  • I have bad mental images of what he looks like now in the casket
  • He is in the town over
  • I dont know if he is safe, I feel like he is alone over there
  • I feel guilty if I go to Sterling and don't visit him
  • I cant decorate the grave how I want to 
  • I feel so far apart from him and I just want him now


  1. Have you looked into having him cremated now that he's been buried? I wonder if thats something that's possible or is it difficult to get done?

    I hope you can find a solution that's best for you.

  2. We had Eli cremated and then got little urn necklace that we wear everyday. So he does go with us EVERYWHERE we go. Were glad we did cremation because we can take him when we move and we get to see him everyday.