Monday, January 24, 2011

Quick Annoying Thought

I am in the middle of cleaning my room and sorting out everything of Maddox's and something keeps bugging me. (yes at 4am, I know my schedule is way off lol) Its just that I feel bad that I am keeping EVERYTHING he ever wore. Its not that much, kind of a lot but still. I am giving everything he never wore (which is a lot) away and keeping everything he did. But when I see something really cute that he wore I feel bad for keeping it. Like I should give to another child to wear, not keep it for my own sake. I am going to keep it all because I feel like I will regret giving it away, but I feel like I am being really selfish. Every time I fold and put away something he wore that is really nice and cute I just feel really bad and selfish. Idk am I doing this all too soon? I dont have a problem with getting rid of stuff he never used or wore. Its just I feel bad for keeping really nice things. Idk. I also dont know if I want to get rid of his crib bedding. It is really nice and I could use the money. We paid like 165 for it. Its all organic and its just really nice material. Even though he didnt really like his crib. He would fuss for 5 minutes in it and then fall asleep, but if he heard us whisper he would start fussing again lol. Not crying, fussing lol. Hes so silly. Uhhh I dont know what to do. I think I may be trying to figure this all out too soon. hmmph. Idk just had to get this off my chest asap. Is this normal?

 OHH and another thing that keeps bugging me is my breast milk. I can still express a little bit of milk when I squeeze them, SOOO I have really been debating relactation and donating to Eats on Feets again. Despite how much I LOVE not having to eat, drink, and take vitamins all the time, I think it would make me feel a lot better about myself and motivate me to get a good diet going and drink more water and not sleep all day. I could make enough for either a full supply or just pumping twice a day or something. What should I do?! I want to start before I completely dry up though so I need advice! I want to but apart of me is too lazy. Uhh another decision! Oh and I kind of miss having semi-full breasts LOL

1 comment:

  1. Oh Brooke... I think it's all to soon about Max's things... Rest up first - give it a few weeks or months and see how you feel then.

    As far as the brestmilk! What a cool thing for you to do - if you choose to do it. I bet it would also be hard...

    My thoughts and prayers have never stopped... know that we're thinkin aboutcha out here in Colorado!