Saturday, February 12, 2011



Dieting and Exercising is sooo much harder than I thought it would be!
When I was pregnant, I would so easily say,
"Yeah I am going to exercise, and eat healthy and breastfeed and all!"
Little did I know,  I would only be able to breastfeed for 3 months, and be sitting in a hospital room all day with my beautiful son.
Then when I finally go home without my son, I would not be able to exercise, eat healthy, or even sometimes wake up!

I finally went grocery shopping and got what I WANTED and healthier things then what my mom gets.
The things she buys are kool-aid, pop, sugary cereals, canned food, fast food, whole fats, instant meals, and all that.
This time I tried to buy fresh and frozen fruits and veggies, whole wheat bread, low fats, and stayed away from instant meals, preservatives, sodium, and all that junk.

But our cubbards still have left overs of these foods! Which makes it very hard to stick with my diet!
My sleep schedule also interferes with it. I sometimes sleep all day till 4 in the afternoon. So my metabolism is running very low since I basically skipped breakfast and lunch so anything after that is probably all going to fat. URGG

Today I did sort of okay! Talking INTAKE wise. I did not choose the best foods though.  I got up at noon, had a special K breakfast bar, 90 calories. Then only drank water for the rest of the day. Then I had crackers and crab dip for a small snack and spaghetti for dinner. Not bad since I got up at noon. But now I am eating cinnamon rolls, knowing they are my enemy, but I cant help it. They are SO delicious! I dont care anymore. I keep making up excuses for myself!
"Oh it's winter you might as well eat whatever you want, then when spring and summer comes you will work out and diet!"

I seriously can't tell myself no. Thats BAD! Does anyone else have this issue? When I see something I want, I know its bad, but I eat it anyway? Urggg, I guess it would help if I had some support. Everyone in my house either doesn't care or says, "I am skinny, I don't need to watch what I eat!"

For instance, my sister went grocery shopping with me the other day and started throwing a bunch of crap in the cart along with my step brother and Ron. I told them to get it OUT and to not throw stuff in the cart. They started mocking me by reading the nutrition label on everything out loud and obnoxiously.
They said, "Well were not fat so we don't need to watch what we eat! No ones going to eat this crap!"
So I told them just because they aren't "fat" doesnt mean they are healthy!
 People in this house are just lazy and don't want to prepare food. Including myself. I will sometimes but it is very hard, especially when you are cooking for a bunch of picky brats. Its overwhelming too, having to shop and cook for a load of kids. I dont know. Basically I feel alone and am looking for support but mostly venting!

I have never had a weight problem in my life. A lot of other moms always tell me I look great and that I am not fat. Compared to them, I am probably where they would want to be, but when looking at myself, I am not where I WANT to be. I was way skinnier than this before. I was a size 3 and sometimes even 1. Now I don't even know what size I really am. I was a size 12 and now I am probably about a bigger 7 or 8. It is sooo frustrating. Especially, being a mom, I stopped caring so much about my clothes and what I wear and how I look, so I havent really gone shopping anymore and don't even know what my style is anymore. Its basically comfort and simplicity. I lack the energy to dress all fancy and cute. I think simple modesty looks nice too though.

*SIGH* I guess this will just take some time. I think it would be easier if I lived on my own. Then I would be able to control what exactly goes in my house and who I am cooking for. I will have this one day!
It definitely is not working out right now though!

If anyone has any tips or suggestions for dieting alone in a house full, please let me know!

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