A New Outlook

I met with my teacher's Pastor today. He is also a licensed psychiatrist, doctor, councilor person.
People like my teacher, bring their friends and family to him and he listens to them and helps them and gives them advice all at no cost. They are really good people.

Anyway, he is seriously really helpful. He had a way of explaining things that stuck and made sense.
He had experienced similar things that we have but not losing a child that has been born and bonded with, but it still seemed like he understood. He put real things that went on in my head, into something visual and physical.

He explained to me exactly why I sleep so much, why I am grieving the way I do, and that everything is normal.

 He explained how I need to move foward and how and why I need to stop judging and critiquing other people. I told him about how I can't help but get irritated and judge other moms and my family. He then told me that I am not the one to point fingers, because I am not. I am not perfect. God is, so thats his job, not mine.

I took a good look at myself today and decided I am seriously going to try to change. Lately I have been really getting into it with my mom and the way she parents. I decided to just leave her alone and let her handle her kids the way she wants. When there isnt extra stress, she is a really good, loving, enjoyable mom. So maybe if I back off and try to make this house a happier, better, place by not bitching and critiquing everyone, it will make everything and everyone else better and happier. and this goes for all aspects of my life...

There is nothing bad that could come from this. Only good. and only bad can come out of being bitter, mean, hateful, and judgmental. Some irritations are inevitable but theres no going wrong with trying. I want to remember my son and do even more for him and try to be happier and less resentful and regretful.
Wish me luck!